My Little World of Secrets

;Dear Future-Self #102

Hardships & Trials are like a heated copper that turns into gold overtime, success will lead you at peace with yourself

Dear Me; 

Your past doesn’t define you on who you are today and who you’ve become tomorrow. You do you. I know that at times these challenges that the universe throws at us can be a handful and overwhelming to face at once, never look back at your fear just keep going. Oneday, you’ll soar from the pain that you’ve been carrying and that weight will start to lift off. 

There are two type of fear; the one that swallows you whole and shuts you down to a point where you no longer feel and all you feel is the emptiness in this world that no one and not even yourself notices. Then there’s the other type where you’re just afraid because you feel like it and that fear goes away eventually. 

Therefore; take it easy… step by step…little by little because I promise you, you will make it through this ALIVE… you’re NOT alone in this world. Embrace the people around you; no matter who they are, what they are and most of all even if theyre strangers… Accept them into your life because you never know that sometimes seeing the good in bad in people can actually be the greatest thing in life ❤️

I also want you to remember, that even through the darkest storms in your life to where you wish everything ends… Every ending has a beginning that leads to a great life ❤️

Xx – 🌸Niina 

;MapleStory VS League

There’s a difference between two of these games; One teaches you the ability that every challenge in life that gets repeated and may seem like its never-ending, you don’t give up. You keep going, until you reach a point where your goals that you’ve accomplished are the terminent end of your destination. 

For over 10 years of playing MapleStory, I learned that no matter how much you want to quit, leave and walk away from every stressful situation life has to offer you. In this game, it taught me that the harder you push yourself to dream, create and magnify yourself to success it will come true and that you’ll get there eventually. 

However; In league, this came taught me that life will always have consecutive challenges and it often feels like a battle with not just yourself but the whole world, sometimes it makes us scream and hit the end button. Unfortunately; I havent given up yet, Iam still determined to push and try harder & never surrender to every defeat because I believe that everyone of us will earn Victory in the end. 😊

Xx – Nina ❤️

;Dear Future-self #101

Dear Me, 

Someday you’ll learn to never be afraid again, you’ll learn to stand up on your own two feet & you wont have to feel so empty and alone anymore… It’s okay to feel scared and to feel pain because eventually that pain might swallow you whole and drown you but then you’ll start to swim back up to the surface again… 

You may feel like you have nothing left and you may feel like you’re lost and alone but eventually, life will pull you back up and find yourself through the meadows of happiness again. Once that happiness comes, claim it with all your heart and you’ll realize the beauty of it from within because life will always be full of surprises.

;Waiting Game 

We are all waiting for a miracle in our lives to happen, we’re always waiting for that one special moment and one unforgettable epic memory we want to happen in our lives but unfortunately, its not everyday we get to come across fate with whatever it is were waiting to happen. It’s not everyday that we get to live our life getting what we want and getting what we expect to happen or planned out… Life is full of surprises that often mislead us to a truth of pain. Sometimes, we tell ourselves that were okay when reality is were not and its okay to not be okay, its okay to feel scared and lonely at times but know this; YOU ARE NOT ALONE… I know I haven’t learn the meaning of ” Letting Go ” and I may never know because I never really want to say ” Good-bye” and I hate it… 
  So, under these blue skies and velvet horizons; I promise you always and forever but right now, I still need you by my side to help me fulfill a promise.. A promise I wish I could have kept to save you…

I know that you’re no longer here anymore and forever I’ll hold on to you as a memory in my heart that will NEVER fade. King, I miss you and I love you. Sometimes, I wonder how is this God’s plan for me… 😢

XX –Nina ❤️

Time and Hope 

— Its like saying Destiny and Fate but reverse but only difference is its temporary & could be taken away from you… You’ve heard of the butterfly effect right? Where one small thing flutters into a big thing causing an effect… Hope is also defined depending on someone’s perspective in the situation they’re in, My situation however; is a little different… 

T I M E is never on my side, in fact it never has been and I know that I have such little time left to spend each day telling him how much I care and love him… 😔 Only a miracle can save him now & that’s where H O P E comes… But when we hope for things, often times were left with pain and in pain comes peace… Hope teaches us a lesson to survive and to keep F I G H T I N G… ❤️

These are just trials right? We’ll get pass through this storm, hang in there for me ok? I promise, EVERYTHING will get BETTER… 😓

Honestly; I’m like a golden compass with no direction right now, someone who has no idea where she’s headed for anymore and to which road will she ever go… For how long will it take her to get to the direction she’s headed for? I’m not ready… I just cant… 

Xx Niina ❤️

Happy Birthday 😓

You’re probably wondering to why I say it like that with a sad face… It’s his birthday today & I can’t believe I’m actually still wanting to say that… OR maybe I’m still wishing I could tell him that & hoping I could be the one celebrating it with him… Instead of HER… 

Patience is a virtue, they say! Its true and it is, now I know that… My life doesn’t go easy and free because the pain that was left untouched for a long time has re-opened into a fresh deep cut… Seeing him treat her so much better than he did to me makes me so jealous & angry… He seems so proud to look at her and claim her as his girl with no secrets to hide… But, not me! 

I’m always going to remain a secret to someone, to YOU! Loving you had questioned me in so many different ways that I could possibly have… I lost you to someone who you could have tried so much better on… But its your loss… not mine! 

Well Happy Birthday, I guess! 

Spend time with her, make her laugh, smile & treat her better than the way you did to me because I guarantee you, that happiness wont last FOREVER… You two will break up eventually… and when that day comes, I’ll be the happiest bitch alive… 

xx Bittersweet — Nina 

13 Reasons Why

One…. Last…. Try…. That’s what Hannah Baker said on the last chapter of ” 13 Reasons Why ” 

The book by Jay Asher has not only captivated me by the authors empowering words… but it took me to a place in the story that made me view the real world differently… I could relate to so much in what was being said through Hannah’s point of view because someone like her, our stories were no different… 

The book/ series on netflix had not only gave me a better perspective in life but it gave me a reason to help someone and give someone a better push in life… Despite the failures I’ve caused others and lost friends from suicide… I found answers to why were often damage inside… 

Everything affects everything… no matter what we do or say, we never know what goes on in anyones life, when we ruin someone’s life; you’re damaging an entire person… 

– Hannah Baker

Thank You ! 

Please continue to watch my series, “Truth Never Told ” on YouTube ☺️

Xx- Niina ❤️