My Little World of Secrets

Time and Hope 

— Its like saying Destiny and Fate but reverse but only difference is its temporary & could be taken away from you… You’ve heard of the butterfly effect right? Where one small thing flutters into a big thing causing an effect… Hope is also defined depending on someone’s perspective in the situation they’re in, My situation however; is a little different… 

T I M E is never on my side, in fact it never has been and I know that I have such little time left to spend each day telling him how much I care and love him… 😔 Only a miracle can save him now & that’s where H O P E comes… But when we hope for things, often times were left with pain and in pain comes peace… Hope teaches us a lesson to survive and to keep F I G H T I N G… ❤️

These are just trials right? We’ll get pass through this storm, hang in there for me ok? I promise, EVERYTHING will get BETTER… 😓

Honestly; I’m like a golden compass with no direction right now, someone who has no idea where she’s headed for anymore and to which road will she ever go… For how long will it take her to get to the direction she’s headed for? I’m not ready… I just cant… 

Xx Niina ❤️

Happy Birthday 😓

You’re probably wondering to why I say it like that with a sad face… It’s his birthday today & I can’t believe I’m actually still wanting to say that… OR maybe I’m still wishing I could tell him that & hoping I could be the one celebrating it with him… Instead of HER… 

Patience is a virtue, they say! Its true and it is, now I know that… My life doesn’t go easy and free because the pain that was left untouched for a long time has re-opened into a fresh deep cut… Seeing him treat her so much better than he did to me makes me so jealous & angry… He seems so proud to look at her and claim her as his girl with no secrets to hide… But, not me! 

I’m always going to remain a secret to someone, to YOU! Loving you had questioned me in so many different ways that I could possibly have… I lost you to someone who you could have tried so much better on… But its your loss… not mine! 

Well Happy Birthday, I guess! 

Spend time with her, make her laugh, smile & treat her better than the way you did to me because I guarantee you, that happiness wont last FOREVER… You two will break up eventually… and when that day comes, I’ll be the happiest bitch alive… 

xx Bittersweet — Nina 

13 Reasons Why

One…. Last…. Try…. That’s what Hannah Baker said on the last chapter of ” 13 Reasons Why ” 

The book by Jay Asher has not only captivated me by the authors empowering words… but it took me to a place in the story that made me view the real world differently… I could relate to so much in what was being said through Hannah’s point of view because someone like her, our stories were no different… 

The book/ series on netflix had not only gave me a better perspective in life but it gave me a reason to help someone and give someone a better push in life… Despite the failures I’ve caused others and lost friends from suicide… I found answers to why were often damage inside… 

Everything affects everything… no matter what we do or say, we never know what goes on in anyones life, when we ruin someone’s life; you’re damaging an entire person… 

– Hannah Baker

Thank You ! 

Please continue to watch my series, “Truth Never Told ” on YouTube ☺️

Xx- Niina ❤️

A Perfect Picture

They say a painted picture is worth more than a thousand words… 

So does rumours, and once it spreads it impacts a person feeling broken and defeated to a point she feels nothing left… But, what is it with this cruel world that we live in? What makes us monsters towards others? 

Is it because of the way we look? The way we talk? The way we act? OR just because its fun to create a story about someone and put it into a fantasy of laughter… To what extent does judging someone lead you too? Does it make you happier? Does it make you feel better than you already are? 

To anyone who watches my Series on YouTube…  I hope it changes your life and if you are a parent and has kids that are still going through high school or will go through high school… I hope that NONE of what I went through happens to your child or anyone in this world. 

Truth Never Told

This is probably one of the hardest series I had to make on YouTube… A touched on story of my darkest past and darkest secrets that I am about to reveal in every chapter. 

*SPOILER* As the chapter increases, the deeper and darker each story goes as I root every Nightmare and plant it back to fresh soil… It’s tough and hard at the same time to have to put yourself outside the box and tell the story in your point of view, where NO ONE has ever knew or heard about…

I have decided to open up now, after being empowered and affected by the TV-series on Netflix ” 13 Reasons Why”, this story has not only impact me but it has lead me to recall the memories of my past in High School. This story has touched me, in a way that I felt the real pain of Hannah Baker and that we both were no different in any other way. I went through what she went through in High School. 

I believe that suicide is never an answer, never an OPTION and must be STOPPED… We all live in a cruel world where life is so unpredictable with signs that doesn’t seem to exist beyond our reach or perhaps signs that you don’t and cannot see because its not there… 

Come and visit my Youtube channel and watch my series premiere of “Truth Never Told” ❤❤❤ 

Xx Niina 

Ultra Music Festival 2017 Miami ❤

Tonight was a blast ! I had so much fun watching UltraLive; even if I wasn’t there in person but only looking through the screen of my computer/TV, I felt like I was there with the crowd just escaping whatever problems we face in the world. 

It sure is one hell of a night that made me happy, smile, and looked back to the crazy memories of my best friend. The times where promises were made and dreams were planned… It all began here. My love for this music, it all began here in Ultra back in 2012. 

Tonight, I saw a part of me that wished to be the same person that she was before losing that best friend, I felt like she was there beside me, just watching me as we rolled through the electric sky together… You know, thats what I miss… I hold on to that here in Ultra because she’s the memory I hang on too… ❤

Day 1 of Ultra2017 was the greatest time of my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world ❤ The crowd, The fans and Twitter was blowing up & of course the DJ’s were Perfect 👌🏻 Armin Van Buuren, Alesso & Martin Garrix were just blowing up the mainstage tonight !! 🔥🔥🔥

Someday, I dream to be here with someone I love… Under these electric sky, where it feels like were in a northern sky because we never want to be alone 🙌🏻

Xx Niina ❤