My Little World of Secrets

;Dear Future-Self #104

” When your skies are grey and you feel like your walls are falling down… Remember, that I will love you to the moon and back “

Dear Me; 

HOPE exists. With hope, there are millions of reasons to ‘ why ‘and ‘ why not ‘ half the things in your life aren’t going as planned. Don’t give up just yet ok? Keep pushing yourself to a point until you have nothing left to push anymore… Because, I know and I believe that it gets better in time. 

TIME is never easy to chase, nor is it ever easy to pause and rewind or stop… We can’t simply push the forward button either. All I can say is; time will never be on anyone’s side unless we have the patience to find ourselves in this world. All we have is a life full of surprises and waiting games of choices and decisions to make us better or the worse in us. 

” Happiness isn’t bought, claimed and given… It’s earned in the simplest ways anyone could ever restore from us… It’s a chance of allowing someone to change their lives without anything in return. “

FAITH and TRUST is one of the most important roles in life; without it, you just feel misleaded, lost and empty… A life with no direction within yourself is like someone who’s trapped waiting to be saved in a place that she’ll never be found. Hold on to that, because somewhere and someday, you’ll find yourself out of this mess… You’re not alone. 

” The greatest gift life can offer you for yourself is learing to be brave and fearless from your own monsterous shadows…” 

Having the COURAGE to survive your own monsters inside is the greatest achievement you hold to life. The feeling where, you can finally tell yourself that you’re not afraid anymore. To finally be able to trust yourself and believe that you are someone fearless because no one else can defeat your own monsters except yourself.

Xx– Nina ❤️

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;Stuck Between two Bridges

People say that, “ It’s okay to be afraid.” And that “ It’s more than okay to feel scared of your overwhelming shadows inside…” 

Truth is, I am afraid and It still hurts because the pain that I’ve kept for years has grown to burn inside me. The pain that I wish had died for so long; remains to haunt me. 

But, Do you know what the saddest part is? The saddest and most painful part of all this, is that… I don’t even know what I’m fighting for anymore… I don’t know what I’m holding on to and what I’m running from… Because ALL I know is that it’s FEAR. 

Fear is life’s greatest weakness, it eats your minds away from reality to a point where, you feel lost and empty inside… perhaps alone even. Therefore; my greatest fear is moving on and leaving the past behind, and facing reality. 

When you’re committed to someone, you wont allow yourself to look for perfection to someone else. You can’t allow the people you love to determine how you love… – Before We Go

I’m stuck between two bridges that leads me to a road of no destination, confused about which path in life to take; where do I go in all of this? Where do I begin? Why am I always that person who ends up drowning herself in guilt between two choices? 

I made promises only to see myself breaking them each time, I’ve kept people happy and tried to save the lives of the one’s I cared about. Then again, I find myself looking for perfection of something I know I’m not good enough at… I look for compliments, dependent on others who always gives advices rather than trusting my own. Therefore; I’m back at square 1 where I’m allowing myself to let others decide for me. 

I’m caught in the middle of the bridge, where both ends, play tug-o-war with me and its a tie between my soul, mind and heart. I’d ask God for help, but I lost my Faith and Hope in miracles… I lost and forgot what it once felt to believe… because the feeling of being on this bridge; feels like im burning in my own hell. 

I scream, I ask for help, and I even reach out for others to hear me or understand me, but no one seems to hear me… I feel lost and scared and alone again. As, I stand on this bridge; I believe there’s a little bit of humanity, hope, and faith left in me and I believe that someday, I will find it in me to believe in Him again. I will find my own wings to fly and soar from broken wings. 


Xx– Niina ❤️

;Against The Currents

We all have storms at sea, sometimes we crash through the strongest waves that pulls and pushes us against currents… It’s on us to choose whether we want it to strengthen or weaken us

My life is like the currents of the sea, just moving back and forth with no direction at shore. In this life; its hard, it gets scary sometimes and often times it gets lonely. The feeling where its completely uncontrollable because it eats you inside and makes you feel like your heart shatters inside… Sometimes, the pain is just too unbearable to a point it makes us shut ourselves down from the world we live in. 

Life gets harder, but it doesnt always mean its the END because I promise you, it will get better… These storms and waves in our lives will come and go as it pushes us against the strongest currents… It’s just on us to decide whether we want to keep pushing ourselves to fight our way through these storms.

I’m someone lost between the shore and the sea. Someone who seems like she has no direction in life anymore she continues to be fearless, despite the pain she’s going through in this life. I am just looking for a lighthouse to call home. 

I have monsters inside me, I’m afraid and I cannot sit here and pretend that I’m not because the truth is; I’ve always been afraid of the darkness inside me. Im scared of being alone, being left behind & most of all; I fear death because we never know what the afterlife brings… Just an eternity of peace. 

It’s hard to move on, pretend you’re okay, and live life when there’s a missing piece in your heart… A missing piece to what made you whole back then. When the waves finally wash you at shore, you’ll find yourself looking back to memories that may have seemed to wash away forever but it’s only the beginning of New Ones. 


Therefore; anyone who’s reading this, don’t be afraid to allow yourself to go with the waves that pulls you through the currents, find your lighthouse and keep fighting by swimming yourself to shore. Life is scary, Yes! But, I promise you that you’ll get through it everyday… it will take awhile but every step is worth a try. 

;Dear Future-self #103

Dont lose hope on yourself, Dont lose yourself in the people who expects to want more from what you can give and to those who never understands you

Dear Me; 

Someday, people will see you rise and oneday you’ll find it within yourself to spread your wings again & soar. You’ll see to it that there’s more to life than boundaries and people telling you that you can’t chase after your own dreams. 

Know it within yourself that even if you’re not good enough at one thing, you’re better because its YOU. No one can destroy that power, that ambition, strength and most of all that hardwork you wish to push through in life. Sometimes, life has a lot of tougher edges and may seem easier than it looks but harder to do so. You will get better in the future and someday, someone will come up to you and say, ” I’m Proud of You! ” and when that day comes, you can finally shove it up to those haters and say, ” I did it ! ”

Win or Lose in our lives, we’ll always have downfalls. It doesnt matter how many times you fail at life, just keep trying. Keep pushing. Over and over again. There’s nothing wrong at failing. When people say negative things, tell you to be someone different and try to control you… IGNORE them and walk away, don’t even care because once its done, its done. 

Dont allow other people to run your life, own your life like its the last day for you to live… Oneday, you’ll come out stronger than yesterday ❤️ Set yourself free from those people who tries to pull you down, you’re better and stronger.. You just have to keep on fighting! 👊🏻

Xx- Niina 🌸

;Dear Future-Self #102

Hardships & Trials are like a heated copper that turns into gold overtime, success will lead you at peace with yourself

Dear Me; 

Your past doesn’t define you on who you are today and who you’ve become tomorrow. You do you. I know that at times these challenges that the universe throws at us can be a handful and overwhelming to face at once, never look back at your fear just keep going. Oneday, you’ll soar from the pain that you’ve been carrying and that weight will start to lift off. 

There are two type of fear; the one that swallows you whole and shuts you down to a point where you no longer feel and all you feel is the emptiness in this world that no one and not even yourself notices. Then there’s the other type where you’re just afraid because you feel like it and that fear goes away eventually. 


Therefore; take it easy… step by step…little by little because I promise you, you will make it through this ALIVE… you’re NOT alone in this world. Embrace the people around you; no matter who they are, what they are and most of all even if theyre strangers… Accept them into your life because you never know that sometimes seeing the good in bad in people can actually be the greatest thing in life ❤️

I also want you to remember, that even through the darkest storms in your life to where you wish everything ends… Every ending has a beginning that leads to a great life ❤️

Xx – 🌸Niina 

;MapleStory VS League

There’s a difference between two of these games; One teaches you the ability that every challenge in life that gets repeated and may seem like its never-ending, you don’t give up. You keep going, until you reach a point where your goals that you’ve accomplished are the terminent end of your destination. 


For over 10 years of playing MapleStory, I learned that no matter how much you want to quit, leave and walk away from every stressful situation life has to offer you. In this game, it taught me that the harder you push yourself to dream, create and magnify yourself to success it will come true and that you’ll get there eventually. 


However; In league, this came taught me that life will always have consecutive challenges and it often feels like a battle with not just yourself but the whole world, sometimes it makes us scream and hit the end button. Unfortunately; I havent given up yet, Iam still determined to push and try harder & never surrender to every defeat because I believe that everyone of us will earn Victory in the end. 😊

Xx – Nina ❤️

;Dear Future-self #101

Dear Me, 

Someday you’ll learn to never be afraid again, you’ll learn to stand up on your own two feet & you wont have to feel so empty and alone anymore… It’s okay to feel scared and to feel pain because eventually that pain might swallow you whole and drown you but then you’ll start to swim back up to the surface again… 


You may feel like you have nothing left and you may feel like you’re lost and alone but eventually, life will pull you back up and find yourself through the meadows of happiness again. Once that happiness comes, claim it with all your heart and you’ll realize the beauty of it from within because life will always be full of surprises.